Monday, June 7, 2010


I've had a lot of serious things on my mind lately. And let's be honest; that's not always the case. Often it's too easy to get caught up in, Which nap is this—Chase's third or fourth for the day? and, When in the world am I going to pick up those X-rays? Preferably without having to get both boys out of the car and load them back in 10 minutes later...

But lately, suddenly, I'm all fired up about becoming a better person.

I've been married for 4 1/2 years, and just like I'm not ashamed to admit that motherhood is hard, I'm also not ashamed to admit that marriage is hard. (It's probably because I'm just not the easiest person to be married to. :) So it's time for a marriage tune-up. Ryan and I are working on criticizing each other less and appreciating each other more.

Next up, I want to sponsor a child in Africa. I'm eager to do it, and Ryan is on board, but it's a big commitment to sponsor a child for years to come (even if it is only $25-35/month). Once I find the right organization to go through, I'll let you know.

For years I've been interested in foster care or foster care adoption. I'm not committing us by writing this, because it's too big of a decision to make without putting in a lot of research and thought—probably years' worth of thought, in fact. But the thought is always there.

I'm trying to look more for needs in other people. Sometimes I think that managing this complex has squelched that quality in me. Instead of looking for ways to help my neighbor, a lot of times I duck my head and just hope they don't ask me for anything! It's time for a change of heart...

I wish my brain were capable of doing more at once. There are so many things I want to change about myself, but I feel like my feeble human brain is always holding me back. Does anyone else feel like that?

And the very last thing I'm trying to do lately—see the forest for the trees. Life is good.


  1. You're amazing, Erica. I definitely see myself wanting to have and or adopt foster kids in the future, but working in residential treatment has made me see what a serious thing it really can be. I think you're great for even considering it for the years to come. Keep us updated!

  2. I like the list of things that you want to work on. Change is a good thing. Your an amazing lady!

  3. You're awesome. I think it's hard enough worrying about everything you need to being a mother. I admire you for being able to look deeper. Maybe someday I'll get there :0)

  4. :) Erica, just the other day in my building an Eternal Marriage class i though of you cause they were talking about the roles of mothers and motherhood and all i could think of was you, my perfect sister-in-law that can do it all and is so amazing at all of it. I think you are just being to critical on yourself. As for the foster care and supporting a child, if you do not find a good African program to go through i know some Kids in Ecuador that you could help. if you have time to look.

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  6. Erica you are truly inspirational and amazing! I look up to you so much. Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)

  7. Yay I love this post. Good for you!

    Have you ever heard of Arbringer? Its this institutions that publishes books, seminars, etc. all about seeing people as people and what that means. My work is obsessed with it and I have learned so much about it, which has been great. So I'm reading this book now called "The Anatomy of Peace". Its all about how to not have a heart of war towards other people and how to change to a heart of peace. Really cool stuff.

    I'm proud of you, sis!

  8. Amen Erica. I think part of these deep thoughts come with the second kid. I have had so much on my mind lately that I can't even focus on a single thought. I am right there with you that there are so many things I want to do better on (mothering and being a better wife...etc..) that I just don't know where to start. I think it all starts with praying to know what is most important here and now and what can wait. Life is always changing! Good luck with your amazing wish list. I love it!

  9. Thanks for this post, Erica. I definitely agree with you on the self improvement idea as well. I have had numerous conversations of that nature with David and the most recent one left me feeling inspired instead of disappointed by my shortcomings. I definitely have those soul searching moments and come up with a list that is really more of a book of things that I want to change or improve; I then go to bed feeling that I will never get there (I think this comes naturally to most women). :) I shared this with David after my last thought provoking day and we had a long discussion about how the Lord works a little at a time, "line upon line" and suddenly a light came on. I have to pick something or a couple of things and think about them constantly to change them and then I can see the progress and continue to feel inspired to do better. It's most certainly easier said than done but that is my new approach.
    On another note, you're great! I have had many similar thoughts about helping people/children. Good luck with your search! And I promise to call soon!!
    With Love

  10. You are amazing, Erica. you have always had such a kind heart and a desire to improve and always be better. Thanks for the great example. You've probably already seen the posts on my sister Jessica's blog but I know she listens to a podcast about foster parents and she is sponsoring a child, but in China. She is a great resource for that kind of stuff, especially since she deals with international adoption and international agencies dealing with children. Let me know if you want to get in touch with her. I know she'd love to talk to you about it. :)